


hey love (is that the name you're meant to have)

by VenusGuided



Series: The Soul Mate AU [2]
Category: Silent Trilogy - Sues Cummings
Genre: Arez's dad is continually awful, Child Abuse, M/M, Soul Mate AU, and Nova's childhood wasn't great either, flangst is my aesthetic, it sounds like hard angst but it goes hard to fluff too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 04:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7786228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenusGuided/pseuds/VenusGuided
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arez loves Nova. But Nova's name isn't on his wrist, so they can't be soul mates, which means there's yet another reason he isn't good enough for love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hey love (is that the name you're meant to have)

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't know what to call this so i went with the opening lyrics of vienna teng's gravity, which is my fave otp song btw

Arez really loved Nova. He hadn’t loved him at first, he’d kind of hated him for getting involved when he, Arez, was arguing with Christian and gotten insanely suspicious about his motives especially when he kept calling Arez down from his tree-house and making him sleep in an actual house, but he’d fallen so hard it made him dizzy every time Nova spoke.

Overkill, Athena’s video games called it.

He’d realised all at once too, like Nova’d hit his heart with a Limit Break attack so strong it completely ruptured Arez’s ability to continue making video game metaphors. It was around two years after Nova and Lao and (gross) Crow had moved in next door, after Arez had given up being openly paranoid and accepted that maybe Nova was just nice. (He’d long since come to realise that while Lao was also nice, it was a kind of nice that was stupid and careless. Lao would stand around being helpless and offering everything he could while Nova swept Arez up and made him stand on his own two legs again.) Arez liked Lao cos they had classes together and Lao had this way of fluttering his eyelashes that made people stop picking on Arez so much, he liked Crow cos they had fun arguing, and he liked Nova cos Nova was the only person who was always there. When Arez was angry, when Arez was sad, when Arez was happy, no matter what he felt and how deeply he felt it and how stupid it made him feel, he could always go to Nova. And he’d feel safe, less unbalanced, and then they’d watch _Star Wars_ or _Lord of the Rings_ or sometimes even _Naruto_ and everything felt perfect.

So Arez wondered why it hit him all at once. Why looking over at Nova that time, during that scene, in that afternoon sunlight, while he threw his head back and gave that laugh, made his mind go blank and his heart start pounding and his jaw drop as his mouth went dry.

At the first opportunity, Arez ran back to his tree-house. It wasn’t a cold night, he told Nova, wondering why everything felt so hot and his tongue wasn’t moving properly. Christian wouldn’t do anything to him. He’d be fine. But Athena was up there when he climbed in. She gave him a small wave, Arez stared back in amazed horror, and blurted out:

“I’m completely gay for Nova.”

Athena frowned. “Um. Yeah, I know.”

Arez panicked. “What?! How?!”

“The way you look at him, maybe? You’re always with him? That kinda thing?”

Whining, Arez shoved past her and collapsed face-first on his bed.

“If it makes you feel any better, he seems completely gay for you too,” Athena said.

Arez groaned. As if. Nova was just nice.

It took a few weeks for Arez to look at Nova without feeling completely overwhelmed. He’d always known Nova was amazing, hadn’t he? And _nobody_ could look at Nova without thinking about how attractive he was! What was so different now?

Arez knew he could figure it out, if he could get over being too scared _to_ think.

Nova didn’t seem to mind. He didn’t really say anything about Arez acting weird. He just kept doing what they usually did until Arez suddenly ran off and shrugged that off. It kinda pissed Arez off. He knew he wasn’t good enough for Nova, but did he have to be so damn apathetic about it?

But, of course, saying anything about it would mean confessing. As if. Not when Nova’s house was the only place he could go and be sure Christian wouldn’t follow. Sometimes he couldn’t even sleep in the tree-house, all he could do was stare at the trap-door and wonder when Christian would throw it open and climb up.

Plus, even if Arez could stretch his imagination to think Nova did all the things he did because maybe he was kinda gay for him, what did it matter? The name written on his wrist wasn’t Nova. It was something weird and ugly that Arez couldn’t stand to look at any more. He used to look at it in wonder, resisting the urge to Google the damn name, trusting that Destiny would do something right because the family that adopted him was the absolute worst.

He was an idiot.

Arez used to cover the name just because he liked big dramatic bracelets. But now the idea of letting Nova see it made him feel sick. He wondered if Nova had seen it before, in the moments Arez took his jewellery off to let Lao do his nails, or to sleep, or any other thoughtless thing. Nova’d never mentioned it, if he had.

Maybe he didn’t care.

Sometimes Arez wondered what was written on Nova’s wrist. He _had_ seen it a couple of times. It was some stupid language he couldn’t read. Greek, Nova said when he’d asked, and then covered it up and told him to shut up.

_Arez_ was Greek. Probably. He wasn’t sure. Athena turned out to be Spanish all along. Maybe he was too.

It was stupid to think about, Arez told himself. But he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Not even as the years passed and he stopped being so scared. Not even as the crush sank in so deep he knew it was love, not some teenager bullshit, love so deep and epic he could barely process how to explain it in song. Not even as he started to wonder why Nova’s gaze felt so intense he could feel it even when he wasn’t looking back. Not even when he stopped feeling sick every time he caught himself thinking something _inappropriate_ and _sexy_ about Nova. Not even when he realised how much it didn’t bother him when Nova touched him.

Nova was just nice, Arez thought. Too nice to be scared of. Even as he held Arez’s heart in his hand without knowing it.

Arez didn’t mind letting Nova hold it. He knew Nova’d have to drop it eventually, when he found someone who was actually on his level, but in the meantime? Everything was nice how it was.

Arez got to run to Nova whenever Christian got too much. Arez got free food, manicures and movies. Arez got to stay warm in winter. Arez got to see Nova. Arez got to love Nova with his filthy heart. It was fine.

Then everything changed when Lao started dragging that fucking loser Kez Cooper around. Lao was so _obvious_ , with his wide-eyed stares. It made Arez feel subtle.

Lao liked talking about his problems. He pretended otherwise, but if he didn’t, he would’ve actually climbed into Arez’s tree-house, wandered around chewing on his lip and twisting his hands around, and then asked, “How do you know when you’ve found your soul mate?”

Arez glared. “How would I know?!”

Lao stared at him in surprise. “How… how couldn’t you know?” He dropped his hands and stepped closer, so Arez stepped back. “What about Nova?”

Arez looked away. “What _about_ Nova?”

“Uh, he’s your boyfriend,” Lao said. Like it was a fact. Like it was real. Not Arez’s wildest dream.

“No he’s _not_ ,” Arez said. “He’s — we’re — why would you think —?”

Lao groaned. “Sorry. I thought you’d be ready by now.” He frowned. “Actually, I thought you’d been dating for years.”

“Why?! What — what made you?” Arez demanded.

“Well, for one thing, you stopped sleeping in my room and started sleeping in his,” Lao said flatly.

“Yeah! When you started having sex with anybody who quoted some Evanescence song about turmoil at you!”

Lao didn’t even have the decency to protest Arez’s accusation. Was it actually true? Was that actually all it took like Kris Jeehl told everyone? No, stupid thought, it didn’t matter either way. Lao could fuck anybody he wanted and Arez didn’t care. Especially since it _did_ mean sleeping in Nova’s room. Even if Nova was always grumpy when Lao had someone over for that reason.

Lao continued, “Aniki’s always touching you. And you let him.”

“He’s — he’s got nice hands, okay?!”

“He doesn’t usually touch people like that,” Lao said. Arez risked a glance. Lao took advantage of the moment to pointedly slide a hand from his knee up his thigh.

Arez felt like his face was on fire. “Sh-shut up!”

“Well, he doesn’t,” Lao said. “And he’s never told _me_ how pretty I look.” Lao actually sounded like he resented the fact. “How often does he tell you, huh?”

“A, a bit,” Arez admitted.

“I’ve heard him say it _so_ much,” Lao sighed. “He’s at least told you he loves you, right?”

“…WHAT?!”

Lao gasped. “Oh. Sorry.”

Arez collapsed against the wall. “He… he… he what?!”

“He’s been in love with you since you first watched _Star Wars_ together,” Lao sighed. “I shouldn’t be telling you that. He should be. But why hasn’t he? I thought he had? He’s _always_ telling me and Crow.”

“You’re brothers!” Arez cried. “That’s — that’s different!”

Lao fixed Arez with a steady look and said, “All that aside, I knew, from the moment you met properly, that you’re soul mates. I’ve never seen the name on your wrist, but I know it’s his.”

Arez started to tremble. “It’s not,” he replied. He felt like he was going to cry. “It’s not him.”

Lao’s eyes widened. “A-are you serious?”

Arez nodded.

Lao rolled his eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s not!” Arez shouted. “Why would I lie about that?!”

“I don’t know,” Lao said. “But if it’s not Nova’s name, then Destiny made a mistake. And you’ll be making a mistake if you don’t go tell him you love him.”

“Don’t, don’t tell me how to live my life,” Arez said.

“I’m a soul mate hunter, that’s what I do,” Lao replied. “And I’m your friend. I don’t wanna see you hurt. I don’t wanna see you hide from love, either.”

Arez closed his eyes. He bent his head forward until his hair fell over his face.

“I’ll leave you to think,” Lao said. “Sorry for that entire conversation. I guess.”

As soon as Lao was gone, Arez slid down the wall to the ground. He hugged his knees to his chest. Lao hadn’t been lying. Lao was too obvious when he lied.

So why was he still scared?

Why did he still care so much about a stupid name?

He loved Nova.

Nova loved him.

After Lao said it, it became easier to believe that was what those looks, those touches, those gestures, all meant. Nova had always been finding ways to tell Arez ‘You’re safe’ with his gestures. It wasn’t hard to add ‘and I love you’ to the end of that.

Arez stood up. He climbed down the tree. He jumped the fence. He let himself in Nova’s house, and went for Nova’s room. His heart was pounding. His head was spinning. It felt unreal, like a braver, better person was making him do things. He knocked hard on Nova’s door. Nova opened it. Nova looked down at him, surprised. The moment their eyes met, Arez felt real again.

“Hey,” Nova said. “Don’t’cha normally just kick the damn door down?”

“I love you,” Arez declared before he lost his nerve.

Nova’s surprise became a smile that made Arez feel so warm he had to be glowing. “Love you too,” Nova said.

Arez walked past Nova, into his room. Nova followed. He closed the door behind him.

“I, I really love you,” Arez said. “I love you so much. You make me so happy. You, you make me happiest. I wanna be with you always.”

Nova’s hands were on his shoulders, just a small touch, so Arez could escape if he wanted. He didn’t. He wanted Nova to touch him more.

“I wanna kiss you,” Nova said. “Can I kiss you?”

Arez nodded. He turned to face Nova. “K-kiss me whenever you want.”

Nova looked sceptical. “Dunno if I can kiss anyone forever, Are. Gotta breathe.”

Arez reached up, pulling Nova down slightly, and clumsily pressed their lips together. It felt nice. It felt better when Nova wrapped his arms around him, pulling Arez closer, as he deepened the kiss.

“I love you so much,” Nova said breathlessly when he pulled away. His voice sounded _even better_ like that. And when he looked down at Arez, Arez could see it in his eyes. The look wasn’t any different, he just knew the thought behind it now.

And weirdly, it hurt.

Arez pulled away. “But… but I…”

Nova was frowning at him.

“You deserve the best,” Arez said. “You — you — your na—”

“ _I_ say you’re the best,” Nova interrupted. “I know you’ve got, well, issues, too. I didn’t wanna scare ya, Are. So, I’ve been waitin’, until you were ready.”

Arez felt a rush of affection.

“Been in love with you for years,” Nova said. “But that fuckin’ family made you hate yourself for more years than I’ve known ya.”

Arez whined.

“Sorry,” Nova muttered. “Sorry.”

“It’s not that, I mean, that’s true, but it’s not that,” Arez insisted.

Nova frowned. “Then what is?”

“My name’s not on your wrist, and yours isn’t on mine!” Arez cried. “You deserve the _best_ you can get! And the best is your actual soul mate! S-so, so whoever’s name —”

Nova stared at him in disbelief. “You sayin’ you can’t read Greek?”

Arez shook his head. “Why would I be able to?! Aren’t you — why would you assume I could, huh?!”

Nova rolled back the sleeve of his jacket until the pale letters were plainly visible. “So, basically, that’s A, that’s R, that’s E, that’s S. And that’s what you were called when you were born.”

Arez’s eyes widen. “So, when you were born…?” He stares tentatively at his own covered wrist. “I, I dunno how to say it, even! There’s so many accents, and, and, it looks like Legolas and Gimli’s kid’s name or something.”

Nova reached out. Arez hesitantly held his arm out. Nova undid the leather bracelet and let it drop to the floor. He looked at the name with a total lack of surprise.

“W-well?” Arez prompted.

“This is the name my mother gave me,” Nova explained. “She said it was so I’d always remember where and when I was born.”

“That’s kinda sweet,” Arez said absently. “But, you changed it.”

Nova pulled him close. “Never cared where I came from.” He brushed Arez’s hair away from his face. “Only where I’m goin’.”

“Nova,” Arez whispered.

Nova kissed Arez deeply. Arez wrapped his arms around the back of Nova’s neck, pulling himself closer as he closed his eyes and kissed back. Nova swept Arez completely off his feet and spun him around.

“Nova,” Arez laughed in delight. “Nova!”

Soon they stood still, but Nova still held Arez up, grinning as Arez smiled down at him.

And everything felt perfect. Actually, properly, like Arez was gonna be okay, so long as he had Nova’s light to guide him back to his feet every time he fell.

“I’m so happy it’s you,” Arez said.

“Thought you knew,” Nova replied. “Sorry.”

Arez whispered Nova’s birth name with reverence before kissing him again.

“Are,” Nova muttered when he pulled away, like he was gonna say something responsible like talking properly about why Arez was scared and things he didn’t wanna deal with yet.

“No,” Arez said. “Later.”

Nova frowned, but nodded. “Okay. Later.”

“Keep kissing me,” Arez demanded. “I wanna get better at it.”

“You’re pretty good already.”

“I wanna get better at it,” Arez repeated before kissing him again.

This time, he could feel Nova’s smile in his kiss. Arez couldn’t help thinking, if he could make Nova smile like that, how wasn’t he good enough? Destiny put them together for a reason. Maybe so Arez could make Nova smile and Nova could make Arez face the world. Or maybe just because they made each other happy.

Arez didn’t care. He’d think about it later.


End file.
